I'm that one girl that cuts.
My cutting addiction started when I was in 7th grade. It was mild at first, but as time went on I progressively got worse. By my freshman year one cutting session, that's what I call it anyways, I would cut anywhere between 50 and 200 times. Later that year I quit "for good". Every once in a while something gets me so down that I do turn to cutting. I cut because it calms me. I can be crying and just loosing myself and when I start to cut I feel better. I can breath. My tears dry. Well, after the night in my last post, I cut. It wasn't as much of a reliever as it has been in the past, and I only cut 5 times. I guess there was my problem. Not enough blood loss. Kidding. Well only partially. I don't know if I can ever fully give up cutting. I do need better places to cut. Easy to hide. I cut on my arms this last time, but really high up so my sleeves will hide them. I'm not very open about my cutting, and attention makes me nauseous. I have to pull out of my depression. I have cried most of today just from stress. I can't even control it. Wanted a razor blade all day too.
Hi that one girl, I just happened upon you blog and thought to take a little peak. I must say though, that your posts have really moved me.
ReplyDeleteThe cutting does stop eventually. As you get older, you'll find other ways to deal with stress and find that cutting no longer offers the release that it once did.
But the most important thing you'll come to realise as you get older, is that that crap HURTS! Seriously, giving birth is less painful!!!!
Just remember to always remain true to who you are, no matter what. I'm still the rebel/black sheep/odd one/different but now I revel in that and the fact that my own Spawn is the same.
Keep up the good work, (blogging)as I'm sure that with your honesty and openness, it'll be a great success! :)
Awe, thank you very much.
ReplyDelete